The hard choices

I first thought I was going through an Empty Nest thing as my pets were dying off. I haven’t brought a new fid into the family since we lived in Arizona. My friends never thought that I would last this long. I had guinea pigs for 12 years. I also had Idris, our parrot, for 7 years. The guinea pigs have been gone awhile, and Idris moved out in August of 2019.

I went through some things. The produce section of the grocery store was breaking my heart after the guinea pig ladies were gone. It took time before I felt better going through a new routine that didn’t revolve around them. I have been approaching things differently with my two other parrots. Our communication is flowing much more smoothly.

GTK – That “slow blink” that they tell you to use with cats; use it with all animals while you’re wearing these masks. Dogs are very confused without the lower half of your face. My parrots find that the slow blink puts them at ease even though my face isn’t covered at home. As a matter of fact, if you know of an animal that the Slow Blink offends, comment because I would love to hear this.

Murphy died (last piggy) and then we moved Idris out. I got my job, noticed things with Tom were a bit off, and we spun downward from there. I had to get him well. I had to make it through community lockdown as an Essential Employee. I had phone calls, and financing, and foundations, and tests, and car rides, and drop offs. I haven’t seen anyone’s veterinarian since March, but I’ll tell you that there have been 10 vet visits with my cats that I wasn’t allowed to be present for.

There are hours of volunteer time I have yet to put in towards Tommy’s I-131 treatment that cured his hyperthyroidism.

I have never fallen down so hard that I can’t be picked back up. I don’t know what I believe in, but I am given what I can handle. It hurts. It sucks. It’s overwhelming. Sometimes I have had to handle the decisions regarding euthanasia, and not because we’ve given up.
Dismal and I have been taking care of Tom and the big issues since 2016. I am now at the point where Tom is better (except for his heart and kidneys) that I am taking a break from making his food and using what I’ve been feeding Stewart. Tom will never get better and I understand, so I need to focus on work and my self care and support him however I can.

I ordered more masks from The Cat Ball on etsy. I have to have 100% cotton. My asthma has been kicking me so hard that I am having trouble breathing with the other masks I got from Kohl’s. They have a polyester shell.