I think I am finally hitting a point of change in my life. I am set for classes at the community college this spring and I don’t know if I’m going to love it or hate it, but I’m using it to set priorities in my life. I am working with 3 guinea pigs now and I keep seeing all the little guinea pigs on Craigslist or up for adoption at retail establishments and I am ok to say, ” I wish you the best; you are adorable”
Mu-Xi is over a year old. Skeeter is almost 4 and Chai is 6 and doing well after her surgery. I am so used to having my hands full and my hands, as far as the guinea pigs are concerned, are holding onto them and making sure I don’t miss anything that goes on with them. I am working with my Skinny and still monitoring the eldest in the herd. I keep thinking to myself that I would have at least 5 and how much I miss my little boys.
Instead, we took in another stray cat and got him neutered and tested and vaccinated. He’s so adorable and I hate to think that my home may not be the best for him. Amalie still hates him. He still bites me when he plays. I’m trying to have the patience for everyone, but I know these things are my fault. I was so empty when Dismal wanted to take him over for a surrender after the first few days that I wanted to keep the little guy. He’s beautiful. He also highly resembles a cat that Dis had when he was a younger man. I thought that it would be good for both of us. Then I look at what might be good for the family and I see that Stewart (stray) is the odd man out from the rest of the cats. I feel like I’m hurting my Dismal more by having kept him here.
I’ve done a few things with the intent of it being good for Dismal:
I kept Yue. She was a stray and we had given up The Twins. I thought it would be great for him as well as good for me.
I brought home Idris. Again, I always feel like something in me is missing and I felt that we may have had to get rid of Jak after she bit his daughter. I know he was sad that Jak turned out being so standoffish and he and her were no longer buddies. Idris would be the other piece that would make up for his losses and keep me from pressuring Jak to be more of an outgoing bird.
Then Stewart. I thought it was awesome he happened to find his cat again. I thought Stew was such a handsome boy and I was mucking about myself, after not adopting a special needs male guinea pig and still carrying around the ache about losing my beloved boys: Emerson and Little Bastard.
I cried. I told him I needed this cat for awhile I didn’t know what would happen. I didn’t want to turn him into a shelter and sentence him to die and he became my new project. I didn’t mean for it to hurt Dis by his staying longer than we’d intended.
So, the misery that I have over my losses would have me up to another half dozen guinea pigs by now but I’m caring more for the ones that I already have. I am not stretched entirely thin.
And right now I’m still a little drunk.
I love cabernet Sauvignon when I think too much.