I woke up today, not wanting to leave the bed.
Ate a pancake, drank some coffee.
Cleaned the guinea pig pen.
Clipped the 5 girls’ nails.
Refilled the hay and gave them dandelion greens and italian parsley.
Sifted out the cat litter boxes.
Took the trash out.
Had guinea pigs screaming at me again.
Gave them cucumber.
And now I’m in bed where it’s warm, waiting for my Totino’s Party Pizza to cool down for lunch.
I did all that and there is still one thing on the back of my mind:
My parents are probably euthanizing my dog, Lila, very soon.
For the last year she’s been eating less and acting much more spaced out and confused. She’s about 11 and I was thinking, ok, “old people things”. Dad has emphasized that you can now feel her entire spine and she’ll go under the ottoman and not understand how to come out…that she’ll sit behind the open back door and not check the edge to understand that she can get inside… that she’s not sleeping in her bed anymore.
I bought her that bed 6 years ago. She slept in it with me and she’s been sleeping in it at my mom and dad’s for the last 4 years. She’s just spacing out and falling asleep wherever she is in the evening and not coming to bed.
That’s her bed and it’s not even in her repertoire anymore. Shit.
She probably won’t even be aware that the needle will be in her arm.