Let’s be real

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When I decided to make Stop and Eat the Flowers, it seemed like a great idea. I have mental health issues, and had a slew of physical health issues, and telling myself to create something – it was therapeutic. I don’t feel like leaving the house: Write something. I put off chores ritualistically, but made deadlines with companies. I pushed myself to remain “out there” instead of shuttering my life.

In November though, I took a position at a small business I am very proud to have found, and became a part of a team. We all care about pets. We have all been through our trials. Every staff member brings something refreshing that keeps our repeat customers in touch with us, even after we had the doors closed for 3 months. I was even more fortunate to keep my position, breaking my body to keep the customers coming back to us as we couldn’t let them inside our store. It’s been fascinating to see what I can endure.

I am about to turn 38 this month. I watched my youth slip off this skin starting last year. Dry skin, hair, nails, eczema. It’s sort of refreshing, because it also marks the time I didn’t quit. I still have this job. I work on my feet. It’s a very physical position. I am expanding my knowledge in this industry. In THIS industry: Companion Animals; Husbandry and Nutrition. I miss the opportunities I used to have, but this is so US. I use a lot of “I” through this article, but it’s about Stop and Eat the Flowers.

Over the last year I know you’ve seen updates slip by in a blink…Blink and you miss it. I carry around a heavy weight about the choices I have made, things I can’t do better that just end up happening, no previous skills in new illnesses that I feel get left too long untreated.

Going back to the beginning of what I started writing today: This -was- my therapy. The blog was my therapy for that lifestyle.
I feel that the evolution started around this time:

Lily got bloat and no matter how I tried, she died in October 2018.
Murphy did Lupron injections for her ovarian cysts, but still she died before six months was out, in June 2019 over a heart issue.
I juggled my 3 parrots until I couldn’t anymore over Idris’ behavior, and she left to have a pretty cool life out in Virginia in August 2019. No, I swear this is not like telling someone “The dog moved to a farm in the country”. Idris is alive and well and her favorite bird is ‘Coco’.

Tommy had hyperthyroidism. It’s cured. He’s stage 2 Chronic Kidney Disease. He had a UTI last week and we didn’t even know, but it showed in his urine during his 3 month post I-131 labs.

Aside from what I feel in my heart, I’ll tell you why parents go without the things they need. Kids are more important that they remain in peak health. I need 2 new veneers. These are *tap tap* 19 years old. My original 2 teeth broke during a car accident. Tommy needs that money. I am having vision issues. Instead, I got Yue her first vet check. Age 11, and Yue had a physical and labs done.

Alright. If I still have your attention by the time we’re down here; Why don’t I write more if there is so much to discuss?
Have you ever heard of the Spoon Theory?
*magic Wiki-Wiki-Wiki* Pew pew: Here ya go

Some days I get home from work, and I’m People’d out and want to turn my brain off, or I’m crippled out, and I need to settle my skeleton and eat anti-inflammatories and pound various non-caffeinated non-carbonated beverages and shout
“I HAVE FOUR CATS LIVING HERE. SOMEONE COME LOVE ME!”

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